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Warning, I’m not going to tell you to take a bubble bath and get a massage to relieve stress.
Experiencing a high amount of stress can negatively impact our quality of life. Numerous studies have shown us that stress can lead to a plethora of problems including high blood pressure, obesity and major illnesses. That in itself stresses me out!
Every single one of us has had stress creep into our lives and slap us across the face. But that doesn’t mean we need to let it take over our lives.
Ladies, you have all the power to shift your emotions. Stress is an emotion so yes, you can kick it in the butt really hard and make it go away.
By the end of this article, you will be able to:
- Define precisely how you are feeling
- Shift your emotions
- Be in a positive state of mind
1. Define your emotion
Most of the time, we’ll say things like “I’m so stressed right now.” The reality is, there are many emotions that create stress. Stress can be fueled by fear, anger, anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed.
The first step to relieving stress is to actually define it.
Take a moment and think about what emotion you are presently feeling. Maybe you are noticing two separate emotions. How would you describe these emotions?
Now think about which emotions you regularly experience when you are stressed. Maybe you are constantly arguing with your husband, and that makes you feel angry. Perhaps you are working long hours at work and feel exhausted and overwhelmed.
Merely labeling the emotion can help you feel a little better.
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2. Take a Deep Breath
Sit up nice and tall in your chair or stand up. Now take at least one deep breath. Oh, what the heck. Take another. Big deep breaths. Exhale a nice big “ahh.”
How do you feel? Has your emotional state subtly shifted in any way? Take a moment to define how straightening your spine and breathing deeply makes you feel.
3. What emotions do you desire?
I’m going to read your mind here. Here we go. You have the desire to avoid pain and the desire to seek happiness. Am I right?
Think about what emotional state you would like to be in. How would you like to feel in this very moment? Really think about WHAT you want and then ask yourself WHY you want it.
4. You have all the power
Nothing outside of yourself is responsible for your emotions. Most people go through life believing that our emotions are triggered by external events. It’s super easy to think this!
But we are WRONG. The problem is that when we believe that something or someone outside of ourselves determines how we feel, we give up all of our power.
For example, if you truly believe the reason why you are stressed out is that your boss is telling you that your work is inadequate, then you are giving him or her the ropes to determine your own emotions.
Remember: you and you alone are in control of your emotional state. You have the power to feel any emotion you DESIRE at any moment. Don’t give away your power.
5. Change your state of mind
The three forces that control your emotions are physiology, focus and language. Together, these three things become what Tony Robbins calls the “emotional triad.”
To be in complete control of your emotions, i.e., having all the power, you need to master each of these three forces.
Physiology relates to how you use your body. Remember #2 on the list? Stand up straight and breath deeply.
Focus is where you aim your attention. Do you see the glass half full or half empty? Focus on the things you want and the outcomes you desire. Try not to focus on putting your attention somewhere that doesn’t help you. Positivity changes your mindset.
Language refers to how we speak to ourselves and others. We all have a dialogue with ourselves internally and out loud. What words are you choosing to say? If you are always saying “why is my life so stressful” instead of “what can I do to improve my situation,” you may be losing the power that you so rightfully own.
Next time you feel stressed, take a few minutes to think about these three things. What is your body doing? Where is your focus? What words are you thinking and saying?
Think about this quote from yogi, mystic, and visionary, Sadhguru.
“No work is stressful. It is your inability to manage your body, mind, and emotions that makes it stressful.”
6. Take action
Of course, you could read this until you were blue in the face but the only way to feel how you want is to take action. Simply reading this is not enough.
Let me give you an example of how you might change how you feel.
You have been feeling stressed lately about finances. The underlying emotion that your feel is worry. After defining your emotion, you take a couple of deep breaths and change your surroundings by going for a walk with your dog. You already feel better. Then, you think about how you want to feel in this very moment. You want to feel joy and a sense of calmness. Why? Because it will give you the clarity to make the right decisions. Ok, now that you know how you want to feel, it’s time for the power of positivity. You tell yourself that you’re going to sit down with your husband and come up with a plan to improve your financial situation. You will be very focused on the moment and not let that little voice inside your head bring negativity. Everything you think and speak will be positive. Then a deep breath, deep breath.